My non-encounter with Kamal Hassan

I did not realize until a few weeks back what a complete cinema crazy fan I am. I realized that I go near hysterical on seeing Kamal Hassan a few feet in front of me, my skin tingles in excitement and I can’t stop smiling that wide vacuous smile. I hear his voice and I go bonkers, I try to wolf whistle knowing I can’t whistle. I clap after every sentence and how – in big sweeping motions.  He tells a joke and I am still laughing after everybody’s stopped, he says something touching and I get choked up. I was star-struck, benumbed, done.

A few weeks back I had been to Crazy Mohan’s 777^th show of “Chocolate Krishna” and Kamal Hassan was the chief guest at the show. I was in the fifth row from the stage and I could see the back of Kamal Hassan’s head while he watched the show from the front seat. Every joke I laughed and turned to look if Kamal Hassan did. So did my husband and my sister and my friends.

It was a great evening, such fun. We dropped kids at home (most important decision of the evening) arrived early, ordered filter coffee from the sabha’s bustling Woodlands canteen and sipped our coffee scanning the crowd for Kamal chella kutty while regulars ate Rava dosai, sambar vadai and filter coffee at the open-air tables nearby. We spotted ARS (police commissioner in Nayagan), Y.G. Mahendran and comedian Sathish.

I was this close to Kamal Hassan’s Land rover when I walked past in the opposite direction. We had to hurry inside though as the show was about to start. Watching a live show is nothing like anything. The atmosphere is electric and the excitement and cheer palpable. The drama was hilarious in true Crazy Mohan style.

I am totally smitten by the drama scene. It is so quaint and retro in a way. These dramas are still in the 80s and 90s right from the Doordarshan like simple sets, speaking out the dialogues at the standing mics, the storyline and the special effects. I loved it. Madhu and Crazy Mohan were brilliant. So was Appa Ramesh. The “thiruttu paati” was fantastic.

I am a huge fan of Tamil comedy dramas if I haven’t told you before. S.Ve.Sekhar and Crazy Mohan are iconic in the Tamil comedy drama scene. I haven’t been to too many live dramas though and I am kicking myself for that. The bonus that day was hearing all the fantastic people speak. It felt like we were part of an elite insider club. We learnt that Nagesh’s famous “Hellooooo” in “Kadhalika Neram Illai” was inspired by Chitralaya Gopu’s own “Hellooooooo”. We learnt how much Kamal Hassan admires great story/screenplay writers. Note to me: Write a bloody great screenplay if you want to reach Kamal. As if the blog is shattering headlines, now screenplay.

My sister and I went over what we would say to him if we came face to face with Kamal Hassan. In reality if I (or my sister) come face to face with him, I’d have a mild heart attack or at best stare blankly, open mouth but forget to speak and then run away and hide or fake-faint at that spot.

I                  :  Unga padam yellam paathirkom. Papanasam kuda paathom, Super a irrundhichi

My sister :   Ayaae, As if he doesn’t know it was good

I                  :  “Yeya en kottikara” nu feel panni paadina?

My sister :   Feel panama thuppita?

I                 : “Varumaiyin niram sigappu” paathu barathi kavidhai padikanum nu aasai patten,”Unnal                       mudiyum thambi” paathu social service pannanum nenaichen,”nayagan” paathu naalu                         paerukku nalladhu seyya nenaichen…

My sister : Yen innum alli vidaen.. “vishwaroopam” paathu Afghanistan poghe try panne,”Aboorva 
                    sagodhargal” paathu mutti kaal potte 2 naal nadendhu nu

I                  : Reverse Psychology. Thirumbi paakamaye irundha?

My sister : Maanam thappikum

I                 : yenga oru nalla idea kuda paakalam..

My sister : Selfie yedukanum. Yeppadi theriyale..

I              : Kamal kum pallu valikum, Rajni’kum mudi kottum. So you become the best dentist in town. Naa oru nalle kadhai yezhudharen..

My sister :  Podi #@$%%